Want to Free Yourself from Perfectionism? Here's what you need to know.
To the singer wrestling with perfectionism. We need you.
We need the art you’ve been sitting on, editing and over-thinking for years.
✨The songs that will never be ready.
✨The lyrics that will never be good enough.
✨The voice that will never hit every note just right.
✨The gigs that will never be free of imposter syndrome.
✨The practice sessions that will never be flawless.
✨The ideas that will never be criticised.
We need you visible and we need you whole.
There are too many singers who are too scared to share their gift because of their need for it to be perfect.
Too many singers who experience a lot of tension because they are frightened of losing control.
Too many singers who don’t enjoy their practice (or performances) because they’re always over-thinking and trying desperately to get everything right.
Sound familiar? Then this post is for you.
Saturated with love, compassion and support as you write a new future one choice at a time.
7 Truths to Lean Into
Perfectionism is an old protective mechanism
It most likely protected you from pain associated with failure or making mistakes early on in your life.
Hyper-vigilance, attempting to manage and control situations and trying to get everything right was a way of keeping yourself safe.
Or getting your needs met (such as love or attention from parents or role models in your life).
As you try to move away from micro-managing or aiming for perfect, your body will be triggered by this which could feel like sensations of fear, anxiety or tightness.
This is 100% okay and normal.
You will feel uncomfortable as you learn to allow the imperfect
Remember, trying to do everything "right" was how you kept yourself safe and/or accepted, so relaxing around this often feels unsafe in the body.
This response will be subconscious and will take some time to tend to and heal.
Breathe.
Recognise that your body is trying to protect you.
Remind yourself that you're not in danger.
Do what you can to feel safe, loved, connected and worthy in this moment.
Perfectionism is encouraged by our society in many ways
Success is often measured by status, performance, productivity, what we own or how much money we make.
A lack of context and cancel culture online has exacerbated our fear of getting it wrong.
TV shows like The Voice and Idol where singers are judged and voted out for imperfections add to this messaging.
Photoshop, filters and representation in media paints a very narrow picture of what we "should" aim to look like.
Constantly receiving and absorbing these messages perpetuates our belief that we must be perfect to be worthy.
There is no perfect way to heal
Acknowledging perfectionist tendencies can awaken feelings of shame and embarrassment.
Which can then lead to a desperate desire to heal and "get rid of" the perfectionism ASAP.
As well as a need to "get it right" and not slip up along the way.
If you find yourself in this cycle, remember that you are not broken, the road to acceptance isn't linear and integrating through compassion is the goal.
Healing perfectionism doesn't mean getting rid of the good parts
Yes, there are some beautiful traits that can be a part of your perfectionism.
You might be detail-orientated, organised, driven or can juggle multiple projects at once.
Detaching from perfectionism is not about erasing these, it's about recognising that you're worthy regardless of the outcome.
Understanding that you're intrinsically worthy even if you make a mistake, don't get it right, let someone down or fail.
This journey is about embracing your humanness
The opposite of perfectionism is embracing your humanness.
The perfectly imperfect, often messy and gloriously wild ride of being human.
Aiming to make choices fuelled by compassion and self-generosity that bring you closer to wholeness.
Because your perfectionism was never what made you worthy, incredible, loveable or valuable in the first place. You just ARE.
YOU CANNOT LEAVE THE BODY OUT OF THE CONVERSATION
Have you noticed that perfectionism shows itself in your body?
You might feel anxious, scared, uncertain or panicked.
Your heart might race, you might feel hot or sweaty or your stomach might do backflips.
That’s because this pattern lives in your body.
Perfectionism kept you safe once upon a time and there is a part of you who still feels you need the armour.
Trying to outrun it, affirmation it away or suppress it will only amplify the response you feel in your nervous system.
You’ll need to learn how to embody a sense of safety when perfectionistic tendencies crop up, meeting this part of you with compassion instead of contempt.
That’s when the door can open for you to begin unravelling your need for perfection, hyper-vigilance and control.
And you’ll be able to ENJOY your self expression instead of holding onto all that worry, fear and doubt.
Wouldn’t that feel incredible?
✨ Want to move through this a little deeper?✨
My Embody Your Voice program is for you if you long to feel liberated from perfectionism, over-thinking and the opinions of others.
If you wish you’d jump at opportunities instead of letting your doubt hold you back.
If you want to experience what it’s like to welcome compassion into the conversation and unravel perfectionism from the BODY as well as the mind, this is for you.
You’ll discover a new way of shifting, replacing over-thinking with certainty.
Replacing contrived with authentic.
Feeling strong and steady in the face of criticism.
And harnessing the power of sensation, emotion and soul that you have probably been avoiding for years.
This is a homecoming for those yearning to feel more at home in their own skin as a singer and performer.